elf yourself has reached new levels

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

ah, it's that time of year again! this, of course, had me in hysterics. i would've posted the "disco" themed one, but there were far too many choreographed elf pelvic thrusts involved ...

happy december from your favourite christmas elves, like woah!

it's the most wonderful time of the year

while the weirdness of being away from home at christmastime deserves a blog post all of its own, i did want to share the exciting news that we're jet-setting to japan in one month today.

iiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!! (that's a high-pitched squeal of excitement.)

i also kind of love using exciting terms like "jet-setting." it makes me feel really glamorous.

mark's mom, klara, is coming to visit us for 9 days, and we're booked to fly to tokyo on christmas day. so yes, notwithstanding being out of canada and absent from family gatherings, flying to japan for the holidays will make 2009 officially the most bizarre christmas in the history of alex.

on a totally separate note, hopefully we'll get to experience the wonders of the subway while we're there:



or, not? oh dear god. that sort of puts the TTC fair hike and subsequent drama to shame. i wonder how much the subway in japan is?

oh baby, it's cold outside

it's freaking freezing in korea. and when it's cold in korea, you eat jjigae, or stew, to keep warm. above, a hot bowl of kimchi jjigae served in a stone hot pot will warm you up (and clear your sinuses).

while we experienced a cold snap several weeks ago that lasted 2-3 days, potentially due to neighbouring china's cloud-seeding overdose (and their subsequent early-november blizzard), the frigid temperatures quickly passed, autumn returned, and i danced a figurative dance of joy that i didn't need to invest in a winter coat yet.

well, i spoke (or, danced) too soon. winter seems to be here; seoul's currently got lower temperatures than toronto. whaaat ... NO. this does little for my we've-escaped-the-shitty-canadian-climate gloating. for the record, it's currently -3°C in the greater seoul area.

and while i thoroughly enjoy the ondol heating that warms our apartment, the heat at school is another story. our boss finally gave us the heads up the other week that the "warm wind" was now available for the individual heating+air conditioning combo in our classrooms, and we obviously suppressed giggles at his inadvertent fart joke. why the building is designed in the opposite fashion of the very-effective-and-ubiquitous system of this country is beyond me. never mind that it's a challenge enough to get my students to refrain from opening the windows (and hanging out of them) or turning the thermostat dial in the classroom at their leisure (to which my protests of "teacher only!" are futile), but the heating units are in the ceiling ... and heat rises ... and ...

...

so most of my students are wearing their coats in class. and while the room eventually reaches a nice degree of cozy, you open the door to the hallway and meet a cold blast of frigid air, as the halls are unheated. oh, and all the windows are open in the stairwell. and bathrooms. and walking from my classroom to the teachers' office is sort of like travelling through siberia. i am confused at the theory behind all this. wouldn't it make more sense to heat the entire building?

regardless, winter has apparently arrived in this part of the world, and i suppose it's time to get used to it. i even gave in and went shopping for a coat. time to wear it, in class (while eating jjigae).

now that i'm on an extended vacation ...

... i've got time to update the blog on a more-than-once-a-week schedule!

the results of my swine flu test came back positive, and i've been assigned a work-mandated leave from school. until potentially next week. eep! while i don't mind the unexpected vacation (especially since i'm no longer feeling inches from death), i do mind feeling like a leper that no one wants to be near. and i resent not being allowed to go into work and not being paid for days off that i didn't choose to take! but i digress ...

yesterday, amid my couch lounging and mad men season 3 marathon, mark was at school experiencing the wonders of 빼빼로 day - or "pepero" day, for non hangul readers. while november 11th is a noted day of remembrance for north americans, in korea, it's a day to ... give, receive, and eat chocolate sticks. pepero, or pocky as they're known at home and in founding japan, come in many different varieties and flavours; everything from your original "biscuit with choco" to almond covered or chocolate filled. to homemade candy coated pepero. or fat cigar-sized sticks of pepero. you name it. and as the date on november 11th resembles four sticks (11/11), it is well suited for this commercial holiday er, "holiday." needless to say, i was quite envious of the haul mark teacher brought home with him last night.

so yes, i've got a free and clear schedule for the next few days while i recover from the much-feared h1n1. i have to admit that i don't mind the minor celebrity status it's brought me - many facebook friends have come out of the woodwork to confirm my swine-y status and wish me a speedy recovery. ooh internet fame!! it's been lovely company to my lonely days of quarantine. well, that and the pile of 빼빼로, of course.

feeling swine-y

after all my complaining about south korea's overreation to h1n1, i may have overreacted myself this past weekend.

that being said, i won't know for sure until friday, when my (very expensive) test results are handily sent to me via text message. but yes, i spent this past weekend feeling very close to death; complete with alternating chills and sweats, a chesty/phlegmy cough, lack of appetite and a 3-day-long headache. it was very very very very very awful.

mark dutifully accompanied my whiny and complain-y self to the emergency room at the hospital in uijeongbu on sunday, as that was all that was open. i still have yet to determine whether that was an overreaction in itself - it seems to be the korean thing to do, to go directly to the hospital when needing any kind of medical attention. and swine flu is currently the #1 cause for health concerns in this country. yet, any ER is overwhelming. and while i wanted my feeling terrible-ness to get checked out, i felt sort of awkward waiting temporarily next to beds with visibly sick and writhing and needingmuchmoreattentionthanido patients.

regardless, a helpful nurse who spoke english (thankgod!) accompanied me for "plu testing", which involved sticking a massive swab up my nose and sealing said swab in a sterile container. and ... that was it. they asked me my symptoms and swabbed me. then the administration desk tried to charge me ₩500,000 (more than $450CDN) for the test as i'd forgotten my insurance card. nevermind the fact that i felt so out of it i'd spelled my own name wrong on the hospital admittance form, i knew this was a ridiculous sum, bacon death or not. thankfully, behind-the-desk personnel did some deeper investigation, and realized i'd been to the hospital before and my insurance information was in their computers. as a result, i left with 5 days worth of tamiflu, and one swine flu test - results pending - for ₩89,000 ($80CDN). the whole ordeal took less than an hour.

so, now that i'm feeling better, i'm interested to find out these test results. though i won't know how to overreact to finding out i have swine flu ... you know, when i don't have it anymore.

goodbye october

it was a happy halloween indeed. in the end, the costumes didn't end up coordinating, but they were both respectively fabulous. (that's mark behind the mask, just in case you were confused.) this indian and monkey butler headed to a house party in uijeongbu with some of our costumed friends and had an excellent night.

in other breaking news, we were informed today of the long-awaited fate of our apartment: we're keeping it! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though i may not have mentioned it on here, we went into our contract aware that the lease on our wonderful 3-bedroom abode would be expiring at the end of august. and from there, they wanted to shuttle us into an officetel, or one-room apartment for the two of us. i don't know what sounds like relationship bliss to you, but rooming together in dorm-sized accommodations is not it! knowing well in advance that we'd be unhappy with the new digs, we responsibly staged our protest months ago.

however, when things get done korean-style, it's sometimes at a snail's pace. and there are often a lot of vague responses to requests and pleas and no clear answers. our lease ended up being extended until the end of october, which just sort of extended this excruciating situation. last week, when november first was looming at the end of our calendars, both mark and i were hesitant to bring it up. because it's also korean-style to get-it-done-last-minute. i was dreading hearing on the friday that we'd have to pack up and move sunday.

but despite all this anxiety, our answer's finally here and it doesn't involve downsizing! we're relieved and elated and, needless to say, busy preparing for a celebratory "housewarming."

halloween's a-coming

and this may or may not be my inspiration for this year's costume:



mark vetoed wayne & garth (boo!). and for whatever reason, i'm really drawn to wearing a feather-y headdress.

still brainstorming ...

makeover, makeover !

mark to the rescue ...

this past weekend inadvertently became the weekend of haircuts. our kiwi friend charles showed up at our door on sunday evening with an "urgent" need for mark's clippers. turns out he'd had a drunken all-nighter-into-morning in seoul and in a blurry turn of events, hair cutting with korean cooking scissors had seemed like an ingenious idea. mark helped him (soberly) sort out his lopsided self-'do.

and on saturday, as mentioned, i finally succumbed to my own avoidance of korean hairstylists, and got my 6 months of neglect dealt with. on a recommendation from a co-worker, i went to see michelle at the green turtle in itaewon, who did an amazing job. if you're looking for highlights and/or a good haircut, make an appointment (02)790-6696; a full head + cut only cost me ₩75,000. finding a stylist who knows foreign hair is key for colouring, unless you're ok with orange! bonus, i now semi-resemble garth with my glasses on. shwing!

so, here's the before ...

... and the after

my students told me "teacher! hair: bright" and "you, dye?" (which i briefly misinterpreted as "you die!"). they also made hand gestures in front of their foreheads which i'm assuming is the universal sign for bangs. i suppose you can't ask for much from foreign children in the way of new hairdo commentary.

the last two weeks in review, as per usual

here's a page or two out of our post-china day planner:

we went to the seoul grand park zoo and it was sunny and perfect fall weather. the zoo in seoul is the tenth largest in the world and has a chair lift to transport you from the entrance of seoul grand park to the animals (see pic). the park is situated in a valley south of seoul, and the lift takes you through trees and over a lake. it was awesome. we bought tickets to the dolphin show for only ₩2,000 and were definitely the only foreigners + the only people over the age of 10 who didn't have an entourage of children ...

last weekend, we went to an awkward and entertaining "dinner party" at our wealthy bosses' ... ahem ... estate. the lees don't speak any english, so events with them are always more entertaining after a few drinks when communication becomes through charades instead of through a fumbling english translation (think, 5 minutes of loud and emphatic korean paused for a 1 and a half minute english blurb that makes you wonder if that was really what was said).
and while they live in an apartment like 95% of the korean population, their flat was stunning. marble floors, over 5 crystal chandeliers, the hugest non-projector flat screen television i've ever seen. they even have hired help. we drank very expensive whiskey and hula hooped in their living room. it was sort of awesome.

i've been keeping busy during the week as i've joined the local gym. and while it has adequate facilities (free personal training, free work out clothes, indoor driving range anyone?) the machines are a little more out-dated. and by out-dated, i mean potentially in a 1980s time warp. move over goodlife, this workout club offers not only treadmills, recumbent bikes, steppers, and weight machines, but also the dream healther. hello, old school. literally, it's a machine with a platform that vibrates to shake all your fat away. and while standing on it for five minutes is recommended, so is placing your hands instead of your feet on the platform. uhh, what? alternative butt-in-the-air fat jiggling? the gym also has two (currently nameless) machines that have the giant elastic that fits over your ass to wiggle your gluteus maximus skinny. yes, like this. while i'm really skeptical of how efficient fat-jiggling is when it comes to weight loss, i suppose you could take a look at the size of most locals around here ... i'll report back with my results.

tomorrow, i'm off to brave the hairdressing world of korea. i've been putting off cutting my hair, despite there being 3 salons on every block around here. but after 6 months of highlight grow-out and trimming my own bangs, i've given in. it's overdue. i even got a "teacher! hair half yellow half brown!" today, just to cement my need for an appointment. perfect.

and finally: yes, that's right. 6 months. SIX MONTHS! what a crazy feeling to pass over the hump of our year here. less time to go than what we've already got under our belt. the passage of time has officially boggled my mind.

mark and alex in china

we spent the last four days in china and it was jam-packed and awesome.

DAY ONE 天一

we left early thursday morning, and arrived in beijing around 2:30pm and met our tour group at the airport. we lucked out, as despite it being a holiday weekend in both korea and in china, there were only 9 people on our tour (and as we would soon find out, the number '9' to the chinese means 'super', so, agreed). thursday, being the first of october, marked the 60th anniversary of the people's republic of china, and thus our arrival coincided with a massive celebration, including a huge light show and 3-D fireworks in tian'anmen square. instead of seeing the spectacle in-person (which would have been lovely in theory, but realistically: being packed like a sardine into a sea of people + high security = not likely/not fun), we happily watched the live broadcast from our cozy hotel room after visiting the temple of heaven, eating peking duck, and watching a cirque-du-soleil-rival-worthy acrobatic show - seriously, amazing!


DAY TWO 天二

on friday, we started our day early and headed out of the city to the great wall, which is about an hour outside of beijing. however, first our tour decided to stop at a jade factory (ie, wholesale shop). this was our first experience with the blatant buy-buy-watch-our-salespitch-and-be-swayed theme that underlined a lot of our tour. somewhat terrible ... but mostly just boring! i didn't want to buy an overpriced gaudy-looking bangle, and mark definitely didn't! we were sort of annoyed to have to wait around for 45 minutes while several of our tour-mates got duped, but i suppose all is part-and-parcel of participating in a heavily itinerary-oriented organized tour.

we got to the great wall just before midday, and it was nothing short of spectacular. though, as we approached, you could see the masses of human traffic trying to simultaneously ascend and descend ... eep! the crowds were, well, crowds. and the trek was steep! this made for a hazardous climb as people would stop to take breaks and to take pictures and you'd have to wait. i'm not sure what i was expecting, but it was hard work! i rewarded myself with a cheesy "i climbed the great wall" t-shirt. totally deserved.

friday's lunch was at a chinese food place which was delicious - that being said, i had nothing but rave reviews for everything we ate in beijing. we drank a shot of stronger-than-soju liquor that i can't remember the name of. lunch (as well as thursday night's dinner) was served on multiple plates for sharing on a lazy susan in the centre of the table. convenient!

in the afternoon we drove past the olympic village for photo opportunities of the beijing national stadium (aka, the "bird's nest") and the national aquatics center (aka, the "water cube"). olympic village included, beijing has some phenomenal architecture.

we also visited the summer palace, an ancient residential lakeside sprawl where emperors and empresses used to live. mostly, it just made me realize how boring and/or non-existent canadian history is. my apologies to history lovers and supporters, but canada's past doesn't hold a candle to the tumult + beauty + heartbreak + glamour + lavishness + scandal (and so on ...) of asian history.
next, a "chinese tea ceremony" (as our itinerary read). more like, a tea house where we sampled four types of tea (this was cool, no complaints), but then has the option to buy buy buy again! while the teas we tried were all delicious, i don't have a need for a $20CDN small container of loose tea, even if it is authentically chinese. one of our tour-mates spent over $158CDN on tea! wow.

from there, we went for dinner - a traditional mongolian meal called hotpot. this involves having your own pot of boiling sesame broth and putting various items in it, to cook, dip, and eat - mostly thinly sliced meat, leafy veggies, and different kinds of noodles.

on our way back to our hotel, our tour guide asked if anyone would be interested in receiving an in-suite foot massage back at the hotel. um ... yes please! after a tiring day, and an epic great wall climb, my feet, legs, entire body, were aching. only 150yuan (about $22CDN) for an entire hour. needless to say, i received the best. massage. i. have. ever. had. it started with a hot foot soak in tea while my back, neck, and head were rubbed. and pulled. and twisted. while i was sitting upright, she pushed her own feet into my back while pulling my arms backwards towards her. potentially very weird ... but it just felt so good! she then did my feet, ankles, and calves. at the end, she got right on top of me and stretched and massaged by thighs. thank god our tour guide had suggested getting a female masseuse, or it may have been awkward city.

DAY THREE 天三

the morning began with a tour of the forbidden city and tian'anmen square. the forbidden city is the winter sister to the summer palace, and is the largest palace in asia. it was beautiful but very very crowded, as not only is it china and has over 1 billion residents, but saturday was also the country's mid-autumn festival. holybusyandextremelyovercrowdedicansmellthepeoplearoundmebecausetheyare
waytooclosetome. mark enjoyed himself because he got stopped by more than five different chinese tourists asking to take a photo with him because he's "very handsome". ego boosts all around. tian'anmen square (where the 60th anniversary party had been held two days prior) was an absolute zoo. i don't think i've ever been in a throng of people that large, for such a long period of time!
after lunch, we went to the pearl market and the silk market, and had the opportunity to buy both, if so desired. then to yashow market for hours in haggling-for-knockoffs heaven. five floors of stalls/booths (vaguely resembling dongdaemun markets in seoul) selling "designer" shoes, bags, clothes, coats, watches, electronics, souvenirs, you name it. i don't want to talk about my specific purchases to protect their knockoff identity (mark already told me i'm ridiculous, don't worry), but you can't tell its not real, and therefore: deals! success! what a rush ... i wish we hadn't spent all our money + had more room in our suitcases so we could have gone back for more. we got so good at haggling for low prices, i was incredibly impressed with our skills.

DAY FOUR 天四

our flight left in the early afternoon, so we spent the morning exploring the 798 art district; most of the galleries weren't open yet, but we took advantage of the photo opportunities the outdoor sculptures and multiple graffiti walls provided. the area made me simultaneously nostalgic for MIT and queen street west. it was an amazing way to end our trip. and a cheap way too, since our pockets had been successfully emptied at the market the day before.

i give our glimpse of china a 9 (super) out of 10 (perfect).