Who's my homeboy?

About a month ago when I was doing my weekly chore of taking out the garbage, I came upon a discarded framed painting of Jesus


Alex and I had been looking for more apartment decor and as Jesus looked up at me from the heap of garbage he was sitting on, I had to take it
It was pretty much a sign from the big guy upstairs
Once I got it back to the apartment I started having second thoughts
Not being religious and all, I sorta wondered what we would do with it, and if I really wanted Jesus staring at me all the time
Then I wondered why he was even in the garbage in the first place
What had he done to deserve this fate?
Had someone lost their faith and angrily put Jesus in the trash?
A conversion to Judaism?
Maybe the painting had some underlying bad-luck-monkey-paw-curse secret
I debated sneakily returning him to the garbage pile

But as well, I worried that with Koreans being (from what I understand) pretty good Christians, and with us already standing out being the only foreigners in our apartment complex, that they would think I hate Jesus too
I'm trying to give us foreigners a good rep
I decided this Jesus had more life in him and wasn't going to the dump that day
So we kept him, albeit facing away from us 'til we could figure out what to do with him

I wanted to spruce him up
Make him a little hipper
You know, Jesus for a new generation
But alas I'm not very art inclined
So he sat

Then we discovered our friend Dave is quite the artist
So we commissioned him for zero dollars and zero cents to make Jesus a bit more contemporary and not so somber
The long flowing hair and the beard and mustache is always in style in my books, but something about those eyes just wasn't sitting right with me
From what I hear Jesus was pretty hip and to look so sad all the time wasn't really fitting
Now some might say, "Mark, this is blasphemous and you're going to hell"
and to them I say, "at least it's not a picture of Muhammad"

In all reality, if Jesus is so forgiving, he won't mind being spruced up for the good of my apartment
And as Dave reminded me, heaven is very close to the sun, so it's probably pretty bright up there
ergo Jesus most likely wears sun glasses anyway
So here he is, feast your eyes on The King of Kings:

Our place is looking better already!

If anybody is offended, please leave a comment, we haven't gotten many lately

-mark